China's Newest Tour Guide: ME

According to my plentiful reader e-mails, my last post of photos sucked swollen dick (guess which half of that sentence isn't true). To counter that, and to keep my readership above 3, here's a much better set (again, partially a lie).

Prelude: cc left me alone this morning with his camera and hours to kill. I roamed.

I began with no Chinese currency (RMB), so I had to exchange some dollars.

Stood in the wrong line for 10 minutes until a little lady pointed me away.

Hunger struck quickly, and without any knowledge of Chinese, I headed to the one place I knew.



Stale bread.

Under a full stomache, I begin shopping.

First, I found the ultimate convenience store: shoes and soda.

The package deal was amazing.

Next I searched for fine jewelry, but the store counters were filled with cigarettes.


I thought I found a Cavs fan club...

But it was some asshole securities firm.

I have seen no black people.


Wait, nevermind.

Cheap joke?

I'm going.


With boredom setting in, it came time to find the next best thing: whores.

Option 1:

Maybe.

Dos:

Two barber spinners means whorehouse. Four means...not even I want to know what four means.

III:

Jackpot.

And, finally, the next logical thing to do...

 
 

$3.

It is now noon.